


The Quest for the Best

by JacobJones



Series: The Quest for the Best [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Adventure, Drama, Gen, Reality TV, Suspense, reality show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22062334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacobJones/pseuds/JacobJones
Summary: What happens when you mix the fundamentals of Survivor and sports, gather eighteen random and unique strangers and have a big blue bird host the show? You get a whole lot of everything. Suspense, drama, comedy, action, whatever you want, it's there!
Series: The Quest for the Best [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1587943
Kudos: 3





	The Quest for the Best

**Author's Note:**

> So uh, it's been a while...a few years actually. But I'm back now and I'm going to try and post regularly here again.
> 
> I've always wanted to make a reality show fanfic cause of the immense amount of potential such a concept would bring. But no matter what I could never really get it going. At best it would stall out after a few chapters, other times it wouldn't go anywhere. This time though, I feel like this is different. This is something i'm really passionate and dedicated towards and I hope you'll join me for the ride.
> 
> If this goes well, I might be able to turn this into a television series one day. Who knows for certain? But in the meantime, sit back, relax and enjoy the Quest for the Best!

**The Quest For The Best: Episode 0**

**Codename: A Quest Begins**

__

**(TW: Rampant sexism and misogyny from Vinny, sexual innuendo)**

**Rated PG-13 for sexual innuendo and language**

_ The year is 2019. But not in the way you know it. In this world, animals can communicate just like normal humans. This radical idea, pitched by famed scientist named Percy Farbingle has only recently taken effect. More and more, animals of every species imaginable are merging with the society humans have built.  _

_ To say it has been polarizing would be putting it mildly. While many have found it impressive that someone has turned the cartoon trope of anthropomorphic animals into the real world, others remain skeptical of the benefits. Even so, it appears this historic leap in civilization continues to move forward. _

_ Enter Riley Bird, last of the Gyamama bird species. Standing at an astounding eight feet, covered from head to toe in blue feathers and topped off with an orange beak, the Gyamamas lived happily in the Carribean isles, until a terrible storm sunk their once prosperous home. Having managed to flee, he found himself in the banks of Chicago and was among the first animals to convert into Percy's theory by taking a pill. It wasn't long until he found himself on the streets of Chicago, playing a trumpet handed down by his father and earning a few bucks in the process. _

_ On top of his trumpet-playing abilities, he's also showcased an excellent mind for media. After sensing the similarities between a reality show named Survivor and the world of sports, he began to envision a fusional show that would bring together the best aspects of both worlds. Giving people not just bold strategic moves and colorful characters, but adding the feel of a chess match and legitimacy to it all. Several months later, he would pitch his idea to the folks at FOX, determined to get his voice out to the world. _

_ For the next few days, the directors of the board would debate on the possibility of letting an animal host a show on their network and if such a risk was worth it... _

Board Member 1: I have to say, he's got a knack for pitching a quality show!

Board Member 2: He sure does. If this show works out, it's going to revolutionize the genre as we know it!

Board Member 3: There's just one problem though, and it revolves around who, or rather  _ what  _ they are!

Board Member 1: Maybe we can leave his face covered and manipulate his voice?

_ Several groans are heard. _

Board Member 2: No that's ridiculous. Let's paint him tan, give him a suit and call him Bob.

_ The groans return, even louder this time. _

Board Member 3: What kind of idea is  _ that?! _

Board Member 2: Well hey, you brought it up!

Board Member 1: Yeah, what's your great idea?

Board Member 3: Invisible. Ink.

_ And as it often happens, an argument ensues between all parties involved until… _

TV Station Manager: Gentlemen, gentlemen!

_ Everyone stops what they're doing, paying close attention to their leader as he makes his announcement. _

TV Station Manager: I understand your concerns regarding our host...but I may have a way to make it work.

_ Just like that, the Quest for the Best was born. _

.

_. _

_. _

**Several months later:**

_ A crowd of five thousand is shown standing cheering wildly as they look towards a wrestling ring, heavy rock music playing in the background. _

Announcer: This sold out crowd of five hundred is on their feet as a new game arrives in the professional wrestling world! Ladies and gentlemen,  _ this _ is EWW! Excellent Wrestling Watched!

_ The camera pans towards an announcer table booth where two men are shown presiding over the event, one who is blonde and middle aged, the other with fading black hair. _

Brandon Gaudin: Hello everyone, i'm Brandon Gaudin and as always I'm joined by my Madden partner in crime, Charles Davis!

Charles Davis: Well as you can probably tell by now, this isn't our normal environment! But we were asked by popular demand by some very special power to be here to take part in this major event!

Brandon Gaudin: Or you were forced by your employers to cover this event and you asked me to join you.

_ Charles shrugs. _

Charles Davis: I had to make it a little more fun.

Brandon Gaudin: Yes, the EWW has promised a special match tonight as they have given eighteen different people to chance to duke it out to be declared 'The Best'. 

Charles Davis: And that's why they named it 'The 18-Person Battle Royale To Determine The Best'.

_ Charles glances towards Brandon, confused. _

Charles Davis: Is that right?

_ Brandon stares at him, giving a dry tone as he responds. _

Brandon Gaudin: Hey, you're on the network with the wrestling promotion. You answer your own questions.

_ Charles playfully rolls his eyes as the crowd turns its focus to the ring. _

Brandon Gaudin: And speaking of questions, it looks like it might be time to answer the biggest one of all...who is the best?

_ Inside the ring, a well-dressed man in his mid-thirties is shown with a microphone in his hand. _

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the 18-Person Battle Royale To Determine! The! Best!

_ The crowd begins to go nuts for the declaration as a model comes out carrying a briefcase. _

Ring Announcer: The last person standing by the end of this match will be declared the winner and receive a cash prize of one million dollars!

_ The model sets the briefcase on a chair next to Brandon as introductions are set to begin! _

Ring Announcer: Introducing our first participant…

_ A confident-looking woman sporting well-kept hair walks out of the entrance ramp. She glanced at the crowd, smirking arrogantly. _

Ring Announcer: From Cincinnati, Ohio, Alexis Pillman!

_ Alexis briefly takes off her black jacket to reveal a tight gray shirt with the initials PWF on the front, motioning and playing to the crowd. The crowd reacts positively regarding her energy as she saunters her way down to the ring. _

Charles Davis: Now prior to this match, I did my research on these guys and from what I've heard Alexis is one of the co-owners of a backyard wrestling federation. She's been noted to have several different characters or 'gimmicks' as the wrestling world call them, such as the high flying 'Amazing' Alexis, the confident 'All-Star' Alexis and the newest addition to the gimmick lists, the smooth-sailing and 'Alluring' Alexis.

_ Alexis climbs up the ring stairs, putting her jacket down next to them and slowly making her way towards the ring apron, flipping herself over the ropes and into the ring. Her confidence unwavering, she runs up towards the nearest turnbuckle, climbs to the top rope and points up to the sky. _

Brandon Gaudin: Now help me understand this, how did she become alluring?

Charles Davids: From what I heard, it's a dare from her brother. And one she's made work.

_ Almost as if it was on cue, Brian's theme music plays. _

Brandon Gaudin: Speak of the devil…

Ring Announcer: Also from Cincinnati, Ohio; Brian Pillman Jr!

_ A guy with messy brown hair all over his head began to run towards the ring, a manic grin on his face. Unsure of what to think, the audience is nonetheless transfixed by his appearance. _

Brandon Gaudin: Brian Pillman Jr, the other half of their backyard wrestling federation!

_ As Brian sprints down to the ring, he slaps a few hands from the audience. _

Charles Davids: And what a story he's had! A troubled child growing up, he was all but abandoned for the mental asylum when he was ten. But something changed inside him and strived to become a better person. A tenacious fighter and determined leader, this guy may just be the favorite to win!

_ Brian soon enters the ring, getting in one glance at his sister and smiles, motioning to her. _

Brian: Made it to the big time.

_ Alexis nods happily. _

Alexis: Damn straight.

_ As the two bask in the respect from the fans, Brian's music fades out and transfers over to the theme of entrant number three. _

Ring Announcer: From Hartford, Connecticut; Brooke Bessard!

_ A girl of above-average height and long black hair struts towards the ring, sporting an overall superior demeanor. She glances at her competition and chuckles, showcasing a beautiful diamond ring on her index finger. _

Brooke: Better kiss it now before it's too late!

_ A section of the crowd gives her heat for her egotism. _

Brandon Gaudin: Brooke Bessard, a prominent young figure from the famous Bessard family. Very talented, very smart and most importantly, very rich.

_ Brian rolls his eyes at her attempts to intimidate them while Alexis nods, impressed. _

Charles Davids: Brandon, this is not your typical rich kid. This is someone who has dedicated their entire life to doing whatever it takes to give back to those less fortunate, even if it means putting herself into risk.

Brandon Gaudin: A tradition dating back to the days to the late Byron Bessard, great grandfather of Brooke. She should be fun to watch!

_ Brooke skips her way under the ropes and inside the ring, flashing the 'rock on' symbol to a couple of bored-looking fans. _

Ring Announcer: From Toronto, Canada; Cassandra Novella!

_ For the next entrant, a girl with long blonde hair was seen with her arms on her hips, walking down the ramp like it was a catwalk. The determination in her eyes apparent. _

Charles Davids: Now you may be asking yourself how someone like her could be in this match. But as a former beauty queen turned fashion designer and makeup artist, Cassandra has the fire in her eyes and the intelligence to set herself apart from the rest.

_ Cassandra walks up the ring steps, dramatically turning her head towards the audience and blowing a kiss to someone before entering the ring. _

Brandon Gaudin: Now out of curiosity...what was the name of the pageant she won?

Charles Davis: The Miss Muskowa Pageant.

_ Brandon chuckles at the thought, speaking in a flat tone. _

Brandon Gaudin: Sounds prestigious.

_ Sitting on the top rope, Cassandra begins to fluff up her hair in a final attempt to look good. This is soon curbed when she sees as skinny blue-haired girl with an extravagant robe that is too big for her comes out to greet the masses. _

Ring Announcer: Originally from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; Chloe Carvahlo!

_ With her arms extended out, Chloe beams as brightly as the sun as she walks down to greet her competition. _

Charles Davis: Now this is someone who has a gifted life, being the daughter of a famed movie star. Definitely  _ not _ the humblest person in the room and what she lacks in strength, she more than makes up for in speed.

_ A few boos are heard, having seen where this goes before. Looking towards them, Chloe places a hand on heard heart and waves at them. _

Chloe: Yes, thank you! Thank you all! I promise, one day you will be just as relevant as me!

_ Chloe gasps loudly. _

Chloe: Oh wait...no you can't! 

_ Chloe looks at the crowd, a smug expression on her face. _

Chloe: Because  _ no one  _ can be like  _ me. _

_ Chloe cackles as she makes her way towards the ring, more jeers pouring down on her. _

Brandon Gaudin, muttering: Looks like someone forgot to teach her humility.

_ Charles snickers at the quip as Chloe disrobes to reveal a red shirt and blue shorts. She glances towards Brian and Alexis and immediately changes her demeanor, smiling nervously as they wave to her. _

Ring Announcer: From the Jungles of South Africa, Chuck Kipling!

_ Back out of the entrance ramp, a well-built guy with black hair and a green tank sprinted to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope to enter. _

Charles Davis: Now Chuck, he's built like an animal and from what I heard...he kinda acts like one!

Brandon Gaudin: Yes, the adopted son of two explorers, Chuck has taken to the animal life pretty well.

_ With a near animalistic look in his eyes, Chuck begins to shake the ropes drawing a few sentimental cheers from those who know who he's paying homage to. _

Charles Davis: Talking to him before the match, he told me his favorite animal was the lion. And I have no doubt we're going to be seeing some of the tactics lions use to maim their opponents and to great effect.

_ The next entrant's music plays and out comes a tall and very attractive looking girl with fluffy brown hair and glasses. _

Ring Announcer: From Paris, France; Danielle Bordeaux!

_ In contrast to the previous entrants, Danielle’s mood is mild as walks down the ring. _

Charles Davis: And Brandon when Danielle enters the room, heads will turn. Usually because she's said to be the most beautiful in her class, but it's really her intelligence and height that will play a key factor to her success.

_ As Danielle walks down to the ring, a few catcalls can be heard from some rowdy teens. _

Brandon Gaudin: Do people still think looks determines whose popular in high school? 

_ Charles shrugs. _

Charles Davis: Teenagers are inherently superficial in some way.

_ Brandon tries to hold in his laughter. _

Brandon Gaudin: Well...that just alienated a whole bunch of people.

_ As Danielle enters the ring, she immediately hides her head under her shirt, blushing in embarrassment. _

Ring Announcer: From Oakland, California; Jayson Elbird!

_ As a scrawny looking guy comes out, the camera catching a glimpse of his disinterested face before cutting to the announcer's table. Brandon grimacing at the sight. _

Brandon Gaudin: Boy he sure looks...happy to be here.

_ Charles nods. _

Charles Davis: Yeah Jay, not the most approachable person in the world. But he knows how to get into the mind of someone and can plan a demise faster than you can say, 'In the Tiki-iki-iki-iki-iki Tiki Room'.

_ Jay enters the ring, finding the top right corner and sitting down, shutting himself out from the others. _

Ring Announcer: From Kenya, Kwesi and Naia Azeez!

_ Two people, one short and skinny, the other taller and more lanky come out to make their entrance. Overwhelmed with excited, the starry eyes of Kwesi causes him to wander to the audience, slapping hands. Naia is more cordial, but also maintains a certain amount of enthusiasm. _

Charles Davis: Now here's a duo with a _ lot  _ of upside! Kwesi's speed and unwillingness to submit to pressure helps keep him in the fight even at its bleakest. And Naia? The record speaks for herself. Cross country star, debate club extraordinaire and the mentor to her little brother, Naia is a terrific leader who has all the tools needed to cause some damage.

Brandon Gaudin: A family that fights together, sticks togethers.

Charles Davis: Indeed.

_ Kwesi is immediately taken aback by all the people inside the ring, staring at them in awe. Naia watches on, talking to Brian about him. _

Ring Announcer: From Nashville, Tennessee; Rick Larson!

_ Several ladies in the audience start to go nuts when they see a well built guy with brown hair and a red and white headband slowly make his way to the ring. Brian takes a glimpse at him and nods in approval. _

Charles Davis: A racing champion in the soapbox derby world, Rick knows how to improvise and keep you on your toes. The way he blazes by other cars is matched only by his love for cheeseburgers.

_ Brandon glances at Charles. _

Brandon Gaudin: For the record, we did stop somewhere on the way to get a bite to eat. What was the place again?

Charles Davis: McDonalds.

_ Brandon smiles mischievously. _

Brandon Gaudin: Oh yeah I remember. How much were you loving it?

_ Charles smirks right back. _

Charles Davis: Not as much as I loved watching you call your own touchdown pass to the trash can.

_ Rick flashes the peace symbol to the audience as he climbs the bottom left turnbuckle as some fast paced hard rock music begins to play. _

Ring Announcer: From Toronto, Canada; Robyn Novella!

_ Out comes an overly excited girl with unkempt black hair, a black tank, black shorts and wrestling boots. Her enthusiasm is infectious, winning the crowd over immediately as she comes up towards the camera and shouts to the top of her lungs, _

Robyn: LET ME BANG BRO! WOOOO!

_ As Robyn makes her way to the ring, Brandon is shown being startled by her statement. _

Brandon Gaudin: Well, someone knows how to party.

_ Charles nods. _

Charles Davis: It's Robyn in a nutshell. A boisterous bruiser who can hit, move and think as well as any other athlete. When she's having a good time, it's usually a sign she's found her groove,

_ Robyn enters the ring and starts to do some more posing when she spots an excited Cassandra waving at her. She smiles excitedly. _

Robyn: Yo cuz!

Cassandra: OMG Robbie!

_ Cassandra runs up to her cousin and hugs her tightly, drawing a few 'aaaaws' from the crowd. _

Brandon Gaudin: Some more family bonding.

Charles Davis: Indeed. Cousins from different sides of the family.

_ As the heartfelt moment is enjoyed by all in the ring, a skinny guy with ginger hair began to stroll towards the ring with very little fanfare. _

Ring Announcer: From Ayers, Scotland; Rowan Paramore!

_ As Rowan kept walking, incoherent mumbling can be heard coming from him. Something about 'not fucking up' apparently. _

Charles Davis: Now Brandon, what's the one type of person I tell you up is the most dangerous?

Brandon Gaudin: The one you least expect.

_ Charles smiles. _

Charles Davis: Yes and Rowan fits this perfectly. Not a physical specimen, but he knows how to work in the pocket and strategize. He wants to be the best leader he can be, and if you give him a drive that works, watch out.

_ Of all things, the theme to Alfred Hitchcock Presents begins to blare out drawing a pained groan from Jay. _

Ring Announcer: From Minneapolis, Minnesota; Snoopy Van Pelt!

_ A closeup shot of a guy wearing a brown trenchcoat looking towards a magnifying glass introduces the audience to Snoopy. As he puts his magnifying glass down and saunters towards the ring, Brandon can be heard being exasperated. _

Brandon Gaudin: Is this guy pretending to be a detective?

Charles Davids: Apparently so.

_ Brandon shakes his head, amazed as Snoopy looks at his surroundings suspiciously. _

Brandon Gaudin: Boy we’ve sure come across a few interesting characters thus far.

Charles Davids: And in the case of Snoopy, he’s got an eye for finding advantages. It takes a while for him to get going, but when he sees an opportunity he will capitalize on it.

_ By the time Snoopy enters the ring, he is already laser-focused on the next entrant. Interested in his style, Kwesi and Chuck sit next to him. _

Ring Announcer: From Albany, New York; Stephanie Gicotta!

_ A gorgeous looking girl slowly trudges out of the backstage area to see the ring already filled. She nervously brushing back her brown hair and walking towards the ring. As she does so, those same rowdy teenagers who catcalled Danielle do the same to her. _

Brandon Gaudin: Now let me see if I have this correct, you told me she's an Instagram model?

_ As Stephanie walks to the ring, she hears the crude pickup lines from the punks in the audience and blushes profusely, trembling ever so slightly. _

Charles Davis: Well she's testing the waters for it, see if it's what she wants to do someday. She may be unsure of herself right now, but a part of me feels she has a humbleness that makes you relate to her and that one day, she will develop the courage and leadership skills that come with it.

_ Nearing tears, Stephanie rushes towards the nearest turnbuckle and puts her head down and covers her face with her hands. _

Ring Announcer: From Green Bay, Wisconsin; Suzanne Davids!

_ Another woman with a black ponytail wearing a blue shirt and jeans is shown jogging towards the ring, sporting a dorky-looking smile. _

Charles Davis: They say the youngest dog has the most bite. Well as the youngest daughter of ten siblings, Suzanne certainly has the bite and tenacity to endure anything. Seems to doubt herself though, and it could come back to cost her.

_ As Suzanne continues to trot to the ring, she trips for a moment but manages to regain her balance and brushes it off with a laugh. _

Brandon Gaudin: Also a natural-born leader, her words not mine.

Charles Davis: That's to be expected when you lead a debate and literature club.

_ The penultimate entry in the battle royal isan absolute tank of a man with muscle. Like with Suzanne he jogs down to the ring, but also waves at the audience. _

Ring Announcer: From Dublin, Ireland; Terrence McGillin!

Charles Davis: Now here's someone I like to call the 'game manager', doesn't do anything amazing but at the same time never makes a bad decision. He's cut from the tradition cloth, a carpenter who can build just about anything.

_ Brandon looks at Charles, intrigued. _

Brandon Gaudin: Do you think he could build me a motorscooter? 

Charles Davis: Maybe after the show.

_ Terrence soon enters the ring, smiling at everyone and taking the time to shake hands with Naia. _

Ring Announcer: And finally, from New York, New York; Vinny Accudi!

_ Real American begins to play as nostalgic memories of a legendary wrestler begin to come back. Meanwhile Brandon is shown excitedly hyping up the final participant. _

Brandon Gaudin: And here he comes the final entrant in this battle royal! And this crowd is going…

_...Straight to hell as an overweight looking teen with a bad tan and slicked back hair begins to walk 'provocatively' towards the ring. Brandon can only look on in sheer horror as Charles can't stop himself from laughing, _

Brandon Gaudin: ...Oh no.

_ Charles claps, amazed at the cocktease. _

Charles Davis: This is amazing!

_ Vinny comes up to one of the teenage girls in the audience and gives them his phone number. Once he leaves, she rips up the card in disgust. Brandon shakes his head in disbelief at the sight. _

Brandon Gaudin: What an unfortunate place for him to be. Eighteen person battle royal and apparently he thinks he has a shot.

Charles Davis: Well let's give him one thing.

Brandon Gaudin: What's that?

Charles Davis: His fifteen minutes of fame will be over by the end of this night.

_ Brandon chuckles to himself, trying to take in some comfort. Meanwhile as Vinny nears the ring, he stares at the sea of bodies and smirks confidently. _

Vinny: I see the females have already arrived!

_ The majority of the female contestants stare at him with sheer contempt. One main exception being Suzanne, sitting on the middle rope as she is unknowingly admired by Vinny for her backside. He points to her, flashing the sleaziest smile known to man. _

Vinny: 'Ey, girl with the tight jeans...

_ Suzanne glances at Vinny, confused, _

Vinny: ... _ Love _ the ass!

_ Her eyes widened, Suzanne flushes in embarrassment and runs towards Danielle. _

Suzanne: Was he talking about me?

_ Danielle nods, flashing Vinny a death glare as he does (or rather fails miserably at) a muscle flex. The announcers just stare at each other, outraged by his comments. _

Charles Davis: ...Oh yeah he's screwed.

Brandon Gaudin: If I wasn’t an announcer, i’d punch this kid in the face.

_ As Vinny finishes up with his posing, Chloe begins to come close to him. _

Chloe: Oh cute, so cute! _Ha!_

_ Chloe points at Vinny, shooing him away. _

Chloe: You can do  _ all _ the flirting you want, it won’t change a thing.

_ As Vinny steps away, Chloe proudly shifts the focus to herself. _

Chloe:  _ I’m  _ going to win this battle royal and cement myself as the best budding actress,

_ The bell rings just as Chloe extends her arms out in sheer pride. _

Chloe: IN THE W-

_ All of a sudden, Chloe is picked up some ten feet in the air by Naia. _

Brandon Gaudin: Oh my goodness! The strength of Naia!

Charles Davis: Looks like we’re not wasting any time!

_ Panicked, Chloe begins to squirm. _

Chloe: Hey! Put me down! Put me down!!!

_ Naia just glances at her and sighs, rushing toward the top rope and throwing Chloe up and out of the ring. _

Brandon Gaudin: And Chloe has been eliminated!

Charles Davis: I guess that’s what happens when you run your mouth for too long!

_ Chloe sits on the ground, stunned. She stares at the ring, watching Naia shrug and walk away. Seething, Chloe lies down, kicking her feet high in the air and screaming loudly. _

Brandon Gaudin: And it appears she’s throwing a little temper tantrum.

_ As Chloe flops around, shouting away at every referee within earshot, Charles cringes at the sight. _

Charles Davis: Man I am  _ never _ having kids.

Brandon Gaudin: I mean, it can’t be that bad…

_ Hearing Chloe’s primal cries, Alexis leaps onto Naia’s back and puts both arms on her eyes. From this moment onward, chaos reigns. _

Brandon Gaudin: And here we go, the brawl is underway! The only rule here is that if you’re thrown over the top rope and both feet hit the floor, you’re eliminated. Last one standing is declared the winner!

Charles Davids: Brandon, look at the sea of bodies! It’s gonna be pretty hard to cover all this action.

Brandon Gaudin: We’ll try our best to give you every piece of it!

_ Or rather the italic text that's been there this whole time will. Most of those in the ring begin to go on the offense while a select few (namely Danielle, Suzanne and Stephanie) have opted to evade traffic and much as possible. Having seen the onslaught, a fearful Vinny finds the ropes and rushes towards them deciding to adopt them as a strategy. _

Brandon Gaudin: And Charles, it looks like Vinny wants out already!

Charles Davis: It doesn't surprise me one bit, it's absolute mayhem!

_ Snoopy had been going after Brian, but his eyes soon catch onto Vinny standing on the ropes trying to evade the punches. A neo Noir sax tune begins to play as we begin to hear his inner thoughts. _

> Snoopy: It was at that moment I knew, something did not seem right with that man. Outside of the fact he was in terrible condition, he seemed rather...worried, like he wants to be taken out of his misery…

_ Snoopy rolls up the sleeves of his purple shirt and begins to walk towards Vinny. _

> Snoopy: Well, I'm not going to let him struggle for long. The Mystery of The Miserable Man can be solved with ease, for I am...Snoopy, the Wonder Detec-

_ Before the monologue can be finished, Brian takes him by the shirt and throws him up and over the top rope, eliminating him from the battle royal. _

Brandon Gaudin: There goes Snoopy!

Charles Davis: Not so much bark this time huh?

_ As Snoopy's hands touch the grass, he begins to stroke his chin pondering about what it was that happened. Back in the ring, several participants were attempting to be forced over the top rope, but to no avail. Jay just stares at everything, absolutely perplexed. _

Jay: Is this what my mom had in mind when she said 'social bonding'?

_ Jay tries to walk leftward but bumps into Brian instead. The two stare at each other for a brief moment before he raises his arms in surrender. _

Jay: Don't worry, I got this.

_ Jay balls up his fist and lightly punches himself, tumbling to the mat in an overdramatic fashion. _

Jay: Oh woe is me! I've been beaten to a pulp!

_ Jay soon gets up, walking towards the ring ropes. _

Jay: I guess there's no reason for me to continue. I truly have been bested today! Oh the agony! The  _ agony! _

_ Jay then jumps off the ring apron and onto the ground, walking and way from everyone as Brian and Alexis stare at him, baffled. _

Alexis: The hell was that?

_ Brian shrugs. With their backs turned, Brooke and Rick jump from behind and attack the brother, sister duo. _

Brandon Gaudin: A double team for Brian and Alexis!

Charles Davis: Looks like we have ourselves a new alliance!

_ Brian gets on his back, trying to hold Rick's fists best he can. He mutters loudly enough so Rick can hear. _

Brian: Not today you aren't.

Rick: Sorry dude, this game's mine!

> _ (CONF: Can I be the 19th entry?) _
> 
> Rick: I come from a line of athletes. Dad used to play college football for a time and my bigger bro was a baseball star. Me? I'm trying to become the next Jeff Gordon.
> 
> _ Rick smirks to himself. _
> 
> Rick: But if that doesn't work out, I guess being a wrestler wouldn't hurt.
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

_ Brian's arms are unable to withstand Rick's force and he gets smothered with some nasty punches. _

Brandon Gaudin: And Brian looking a little worse for wear.

Charles Davis: And his sister Alexis doesn't seem to be faring much better!

_ Charles point to her being trapped in a sleeper hold by Brooke. A wild gleam comes across her eyes as she ragdolls Alexis. _

> _ (CONF: Must be the Benjamins) _
> 
> Brooke: I'm a ride or die kind of person. My dad told me when I was younger that you gotta live life to the fullest, because you never know when it'll be your time to go.
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

Brandon Gaudin: And now, hold on! Our cameras seem to be picking up on a potential gamechanger!

_ Our focus shifts to Terrence and Naia staring each other down and trying to size the other up. _

> _ (CONF: Potential Breakout Stars) _
> 
> Naia: Being the older sister of a traditional Kenyan family, there’s bound to be a lot of pressure put onto me. Especially in these events.
> 
> _ Naia shrugs. _
> 
> Naia: I don't mind it though. I've got the athletic prowess and durability to take down anyone who comes across me.
> 
> _ Cut back to the action from Terrence’s POV. _
> 
> Terrence: I’d like to think I have a chance at winning. I’m strong physically, mentally and I can build a way out of any situation. So uh yeah, maybe I have a shot.
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

_ The staredown continues for a few seconds, only for Terrence to back away slowly, putting his hands up and grinning apologetically. _

Terrence: I’m sorry, I can’t hit a lady.

_ Kwesi looks down towards Terrence, sitting on Naia's shoulders and watching him walk away. Before he can go far, Naia motions towards Terrence's face. With one leap Kwesi jumps on his face, blinding him and causing him to lose balance. _

Brandon Gaudin: Oh, maybe a bad idea to lay off as Kwesi has him on the ropes!

_ Terrence begins to teeter on the ropes, trying his best to get Kwesi off him. Naia soon rushes forward, holding onto her brother's legs and giving him enough force to dump Terrence over and out of the ring. _

Brandon Gaudin: And some impressive teamwork by Kwesi and Naia as they eliminate Terrence!

Charles Davis: Like I said, he's a game manager and in this case, he managed this one horribly!

_ Satisfied, Kwesi and Naia high five each other before going on the lookout. _

Kwesi: Who next?

_ Naia scavenges the ring, eventually coming across Chuck being double teamed by Robyn and Cassandra...or rather, Robyn is doing all the hard work while Cassandra is staring at Chuck with a nervous look. _

Naia: The blonde one. Take out the blonde-haired girl.

_ Kwesi smiles. _

Kwesi: You got it Naia!

> _ (CONF: Siblings Going To War) _
> 
> Kwesi: My big sister is the best athlete I know!
> 
> _ Kwesi puts out his hand, revealing a finger for each thing she's good at. _
> 
> Kwesi: She can run, she can jump, she can fly, she can dodge...ooh! And she knows how to make vegetable salad!
> 
> _ Kwesi closes his eyes, licking his lips. _
> 
> Kwesi: I love her salads…
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

_ Back in the ring, Robyn is shown having kicked Chuck into a corner. She glances towards Cassandra, exasperated. _

Robyn: Aren’t you gonna hit him at some point?

_ Cassandra flinches, rapidly looking everywhere until looking at her cousin. _

Cassandra: Wha- yeah, sure. Just gotta make sure I didn't get my hair tangled.

_ Robyn sighs. _

Robyn: You haven't even done anything!

_ Cassandra frowns. _

Cassandra: Yes I have!

_ Cassandra crosses her arms, pointing towards a drooling Vinny. _

Cassandra: I ran from this guy cause he got his breath on my shirt!

_ Vinny waves at Cassandra, getting out his phone and taking a few pictures of her backside while no one is looking. _

> _ (CONF: These Are Not Kirk's Cousins) _
> 
> Cassandra: Okay so a few things you need to know about me. First, I'm super self-conscious about how I look. I  _ really  _ want to get into the beauty industry and I have to make sure I'm always in good shape.
> 
> _ Cassandra tilts her head back. _
> 
> Cassandra: And second, I cannot do sports to save my life. Honest to God, I have like, zero athletic bones in my body.
> 
> _ Cassandra smiles. _
> 
> Cassandra: My cousin Robyn though, she  _ loves _ professional wrestling. She's hoping to make it her career.
> 
> _ Cassandra sneaks closer to camera, whispering. _
> 
> Cassandra: And uh, don't tell her I said this, but she is the most adorable fireball you can imagine...if you can look past her flaws.
> 
> _ Robyn is then shown, looking very determined. _
> 
> Robyn: Yeah, I joined the show. Why wouldn't I? It's only a battle royal to determine the best wrestler on the planet!
> 
> _ Robyn frowns, concerned. _
> 
> Robyn: What surprised me however was that my cousin Cassandra joined up as well...and uh, not to be a douche or anything, cause she is family and I love her...but she's about as athletic as a moose on ice skates.
> 
> _ Robyn shrugs. _
> 
> Robyn: But hey, learning on the fly never hurt anyone! And who better to teach her than the 'Rockin' Robyn' herself?
> 
> _ After Robyn flexes her muscles, she looks at the camera excitedly. _
> 
> Robyn: Did you like that? It's my ring name. Rockin' Robyn.
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

_ The camera again shifts focus towards Brian's struggles against Brooke and Rick. The tandem have apparently stuck together long enough to put the loose cannon in a vulnerable position. _

Brandon Gaudin: And Brian, not looking good here.

Charles Davis: He needs to find a way to defend against this onslaught or it's a million dollars potentially down the drain.

_ Brooke grabs onto the leg, leaving Rick with the arms. As the two are about to carry him, however, a missile dropkick to Brooke's back by Alexis throws everything off balance. _

Brandon Gaudin: Oh Alexis! A bit of that amazingness coming from her!

_ Stunned, Brooke does her best to fight back but it proves fruitless as Alexis throws her up and out of the ring. _

Brandon Gaudin: And there goes Brooke!

_ Alexis smiles, raising her fists and playing to the crowd before going over to check on her brother. _

> _ (CONF: Blooder and Sister) _
> 
> Alexis: My brother and I own our own backyard wrestling organization called the Pillman Wrestling Federation. It started a few years back when he started training me to wrestle and has blossomed into what it is today.
> 
> _ Alexis grins. _
> 
> Alexis: Brian has taught me a lot over the years and it's helped me through my own struggles. I don't think there's any question, I will be beside my brother throughout this match and we  _ will  _ win.
> 
> _ Cut to Brian. _
> 
> Brian: I taught her everything she needed to know about life. Ever since we were kids, she’s been my number one supporter. Even at my worst, she was by my side.
> 
> _ Brian smiles sentimentally. _
> 
> Brian: I...honestly don’t know what I’d do without her.
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

Alexis: You alright?

_ Alexis sticks out her hand, helping Brian up. _

Brian: Yeah…

_ Brian smiles. _

Brian: That was a hell of a dropkick.

Alexis: Thanks, learned from the best.

_ The siblings smiled, exchanging a fistbump before Rick comes up to them, smirking. _

Rick: Sweet dropkick there. Too bad its the last move you'll make.

_ Alexis rolls her eyes, kicking Rick right in the groin. Brandon is heard wincing. _

Brandon Gaudin:  _ Oooh! _

Charles Davis: And that's at least one kid going down the drain.

_ As Rick clenches onto his groin, Alexis steps aside and lets Brian hit a DDT onto him. _

Brandon Gaudin: And a vicious DDT to boot!

Charles Davis: You know a long time ago someone did an interview with the creator of the move Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts. When asked about what it's meaning was, he simply said: The end.

_ Back in the bottom right corner of the ring, Stephanie is shown looking absolutely petrified as she watches the conflicts ongoing. _

> _ (CONF: New student joining the class!) _
> 
> Stephanie: Uh...h-hi...I'm Stephanie.
> 
> _ Stephanie fidget around a little. _
> 
> Stephanie: I um...I d-didn't think what w-we'd be doing w-would be so...v-violent...uh...it’s all s-so...h-harrowing knowing t-the things people w-will do f-for fame…
> 
> _ Stephanie frowns, pensively. _
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

_ As she continues to observe the carnage, she spots Suzanne trying to maneuver the field and coming towards her. She flinches, heart beating faster. _

Suzanne: There's got to be someone I can-

_ Suzanne looks up to find Stephanie trembling. Concerned, she gently walks up to her. _

Suzanne: H-hey uh-

_ Stephanie yelps, shrinking closer into her corner. _

Stephanie: P-p-please d-don't hurt m-me…

_ Suzanne stares into her eyes, tears starting to become prevalent. She sighs softly, smiling warmly. _

Suzanne: I'm not gonna hurt you, don't worry.

Stephanie: Y-you promise?

_ Suzanne nods, offering a hand to Stephanie. She nods, a small smile on her face. The moment is soon interrupted by the sound of a camera taking a picture. Glancing towards the ring ropes, Vinny is shown taking a picture of their chests, sighing lustfully. _

Vinny: God  _ damn _ those tits! I'd do anything to snatch a pair of them.

_ Angered, Suzanne storms towards Vinny and glares at her, arms crossed. _

Vinny: 'Eyyy looks like my dream came true!

_ Vinny stares at Suzanne's chest, the misogyny from him profound. _

Vinny: Say baby, you're looking pretty yummy. What do you say you show off that sweet ass of yours?

_ Angered over his sexism, Suzanne grabs Vinny by the shirt. _

Suzanne: How about I just kick  _ yours _ ?

_ Shaken by her reaction, Vinny tries to play it cool. _

Vinny: N-no worries, I see you're one of those Stacies who'd prefer the beta cuck over a Chad like me.

_ Vinny flirtatiously glances towards Stephanie. _

Vinny: Now your friend over there…I don't know about her, but she seems to be the easy type.

_ Vinny purrs. _

Vinny: Mmm, I can already feel her sexual urges radiating towards me.

_ Suzanne's eyes widen, disgusted by his rhetoric and slaps his face so hard he loses his balance and almost falls off the ring. Just barely holding on with his right hand, he tries to play it to his advantage, aiming the phone right into her face. Instead, he overshoots and it lands right onto Danielle's face. _

Vinny:  _ NOOOOO! _

_ Vinny gets his left hand on the ropes and headbutts Suzanne. _

Vinny: Take  _ that  _ you fucking slut!

_ Anger soon turns to concern and he runs inside the ring, checking Danielle's chest. _

Vinny: Sexy female? Are you okay? Did I fuck you up somehow?

_ Danielle just stares at him, baffled at his actions. _

> _ (CONF: Everybody hates Vinny.) _
> 
> Suzanne: I don't get angry a  _ lot,  _ but that Vinny guy was so disgusting!
> 
> _ Suzanne shakes her head. _
> 
> Suzanne: Clearly someone forgot to teach him to respect women.
> 
> _ Suzanne frowns, mortified at the interaction. _
> 
> Suzanne: Asking me to dance for him…
> 
> _ Suzanne shivers. Cut to a confused Stephanie. _
> 
> Stephanie: W-what a strange guy h-he turned out to b-be…
> 
> _ Stephanie raises an eyebrow, confused. _
> 
> Stephanie: W-what did he mean by easy?
> 
> _ Cut to Danielle, blushing. _
> 
> Danielle: So uh...y-yeah. A lot of students back in my school think I'm like, really attractive…
> 
> _ Danielle begins to blush harder. _
> 
> Danielle: I uh don't really flaunt it or anything, I just spend time focusing on my studies.
> 
> _ Danielle begins to frown. _
> 
> Danielle: But then there's this group of people that get  _ really _ over the top and it gets me so uncomfortable.
> 
> _ Danielle blinks. _
> 
> Danielle: Vinny might be the most annoying.
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

_ Vinny is shown taking his phone and after seeing Danielle's face takes a few photos, dazing her. _

Brandon Gaudin: I...uh…

Charles Davis: Yeah I've got nothing.

Brandon Gaudin: I'm still hung up on the whole Stacy, Chad thing. Like, what's that about?

Charles Davis: I have no idea.

_ Suzanne just watches on, shaking her head. She then motions for Stephanie to follow her as… _

_ She is immediately taken down by Alexis with a vicious clothesline. _

Brandon Gaudin: The impact of that clothesline! My goodness!

Charles Davis: The power in her game is certainly there!

_ Alexis then stalks towards Stephanie, the latter's nerves growing. _

Alexis: C'mon now. You want the million dollars don't you?

_ Stephanie nods rapidly. _

Alexis: Then go ahead now, hit me!

_ Stephanie stares at her as she extends her arms out.  _

Alexis:  _ Hit me! _

_ As her breathing grows faster, Stephanie begins to shake once more. She balls her hand to create a fist...but instead, she crumples onto the mat a sobbing wreck. _

Stephanie: I c-can't d-do it!

_ Alexis looks at her, whimpering away on the mat. A hinge of pity falls on her mind and she comes toward her, patting her on the back. _

Alexis: Sorry to have yo do this to you…

_ Alexis grabs onto Stephanie's shirt, using all her force to throw her out of the ring with little resistance. _

Brandon Gaudin: And Stephanie next to be eliminated.

_ Alexis watches on as a tearful Stephanie helps herself up. As she leaves, Vinny can be seen once again on the ring ropes getting a good look of Stephanie's backside and taking a shot of it. _

Brandon Gaudin: This nutcase again?

Charles Davis: Apparently so.

_ As Vinny goes on about his day, the prior scene with Naia, Kwesi, Cassandra, Robyn and Chuck seems to now include Rick, Rowan and Danielle, all of which take their shots at Chuck. _

Brandon Gaudin: And oh my! Practically everyone is going after Chuck!

Charles Davis: Can you blame him? He's a big threat to win this thing and if you let him roll, it's gonna hurt!

> _ (CONF: Good fighter, great planner) _
> 
> Robyn: Did you know that I'm a really freaking good negotiator? I managed to convince Naia to spare us and go after Chuck.
> 
> _ Robyn fist-pumps, smirking at the camera. _
> 
> Robyn: Man I'm good!
> 
> _ Cut to a shrugging Naia. _
> 
> Naia: What can I say? Her cousin promised to give Kwesi some skittles if we helped eliminate him.
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

_ One by one, everyone takes a hit at Chuck. Deep in his mind however, something appears to be building...something feral. _

> _ (CONF: He's Hulking Up Heenan!) _
> 
> Chuck: Growing up in South Africa, I got to meet a lot of animals.
> 
> _ Close up to Chuck starting to shake in the ring. _
> 
> Chuck: One thing I've learned is that sometimes, an animal can only take so much…
> 
> _ Chuck is shown in his confessional. _
> 
> Chuck: Before they take things into their own hands.
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

_ Just before Rowan can hit Chuck one more time, the freak of nature lets out a primal scream and shoves him off. He leaps onto his feet, hitting everything that moves. _

Brandon Gaudin: Here he goes! Chuck is on a roll!

Charles Davis: His animal instincts are kicking in!

_ Chuck grabs onto Cassandra, the latter screaming for help as she is suplexed out of the ring. _

Brandon Gaudin: There goes Cassandra!

_ As soon as Cassandra is gone, Rowan runs towards him and is lifted up and over. _

Brandon Gaudin: And Rowan!

_ Chuck then sees Kwesi leaping from the bottom right's ring post and catches him. _

Brandon Gaudin: And Kwesi!

Charles Davis: He's gonna throw him out!

_ Marching towards the outside of the ring, Chuck throws the young Kwesi onto the pile of Cassandra and Rowan. _

Brandon Gaudin: Three eliminations in one fell swoop!

Charles Davis: And I don't think we're done yet!

_ Chuck beats his chest rapidly, roaring to the frenzied crowd and paying no attention to the fact that everyone else is behind him, except Vinny who re-entered the ring, only to roll out through the bottom rope to steal someone's hotdog and eat it. _

Brandon Gaudin: Better turn around!

_ Chuck does so, but by then it's too late. Everyone gangs up towards Chuck and manage to get him over...and out! _

Brandon Gaudin: And they did it!

Charles Davis: How do you let that happen?

Brandon Gaudin: Everyone teams up, and they eliminate Chuck!

_ As Chuck looks on, confused on what just happened, the final eight combatants stare at each other, sizing one another up. _

Brandon Gaudin: And we are down to our final eight!

Charles Davis: And you have to be impressed with everyone thus far-

Brandon Gaudin: And Vinny.

Charles Davis: They have not missed a single opportunity in this match-

Brandon Gaudin: And Vinny.

Charles Davis: And each one of them has shown us why it is they're here.

Brandon Gaudin: Except Vinny.

_ Charles glances towards his announcing partner. _

Charles Davis: You really don't like him, don't you?

Brandon Gaudin: Frankly, I do not.

_ Charles chuckles. _

Charles Davis: I don't blame you.

_ And then Brian makes the first move, going after Danielle. Soon Naia begins to tangle with Rick and Robyn and Suzanne start duking it out. _

> _ (CONF: Everyone wants to fight) _
> 
> Suzanne: I came from a pretty big family, ten brothers in all. They've all done some great things in life. I want to be just like them and this battle royal is the way to do it.
> 
> _ Cut to Brian. _
> 
> Brian: Hell yeah I'll go after anyone that moves. It's a wrestling match! You're supposed to get your hands dirty. And besides, if we win, we just cement the Pillman Wrestling Federation as the best spot for wrestling.
> 
> _ Cut to Danielle. _
> 
> Danielle: It's always been my dream to start my own publishing company, winning the prize would make that a reality!
> 
> _ Cut to Rick. _
> 
> Rick: I feel the need, the need for speed.
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

_ True to his word, Rick manages to spin out of Naia's punch and forces an elbow onto her.  _

Brandon Gaudin: Rick, a very nice counter!

Charles Davis: A bit of professional wrestling in his blood.

_ As Naia and Rick continue to wrestle, Suzanne and Robyn are shown slugging away...or rather, Robyn is slugging away while her opponent is getting beaten badly. _

Brandon Gaudin: Meanwhile Suzanne, not looking so hot!

_ With Suzanne vulnerable, Robyn grabs onto her hair and smiles sympathetically. _

Robyn: Sorry baby.

_ She sends Suzanne towards the ropes, but this time someone manages to stay on...only to taste the feet of Robyn as she tumbles onto the ground. _

Brandon Gaudin: A big boot and that will eliminate Suzanne!

_ Robyn watches Suzanne slink away in defeat before glancing over to find Brian ready to attack. She proceeds to hit him with an elbow. _

Brandon Gaudin: Robyn and Brian going at it now, and we are down to our final seven! Alexis, Rick, Naia, Robyn, Brian, Danielle and somehow Vinny!

_ Vinny is shown next to the top left ring post, enjoying the action, paying no attention to Alexis looking towards him, trying to come up with a game plan. _

> _ (CONF: All about the ladies! _
> 
> Vinny: I think I've made it clear by now, I  _ love  _ hot babes. You know the ones I'm talking about, the ones with the big rack and thick ass. 
> 
> _ Vinny's horny smirk comes towards his face again. _
> 
> Vinny:  _ Especially _ the ones who aren't aware of their raw sexuality. Those are the females I  _ love _ the most. Why? Cause I can show them what they're capable of.
> 
> _ Vinny tries to do a cool pose but ends up falling on his face. Cut towards Alexis staring at him with interest. _
> 
> Alexis: I'm looking towards the ring post and I find that Vinny...is still here. And I'm thinking, how do you eliminate someone who doesn't even want to get in the ring?
> 
> _ Cut to Alexis at her confessional, a devious smile on her face. _
> 
> Alexis: I think I know how.
> 
> _ (END CONF) _

_ Vinny finally puts his phone in his pocket, in time for Alexis to feign a light, airy voice. _

Alexis: Oh Vinny…

_ Vinny looks up to find Alexis slowly making her way towards him. _

Vinny: Ooh, what do we have here?

_ Alexis puts her hands behind her back, appearing innocent. _

Alexis: I hope you don't mind me coming here, I have a bit of a problem.

Vinny: Is it relationship related?

_ She chuckles, trying to make it sound as attractive as possible. _

Alexis: No silly, you see…

_ She twirls her hair with a finger. _

Alexis: I  _ really _ want to win this battle royal. And to do so...I need to eliminate you from the match.

_ Vinny raises his eyebrows, somewhat intrigued by her look. _

Alexis: So I was wondering...would you do a favor and let me eliminate you?

_ Alexis flashes puppy dog eyes towards him. Struggling to contain himself, Vinny looks at her with skepticism. _

Vinny: Well...you certainly are attractive.

_ Vinny tilts his head back. _

Vinny: What can you do for me?

_ Alexis places a finger on her chin and smirks seductively at him. _

Alexis: Well... I've  _ always _ wanted a big...strong man to watch over me.

_ Alexis begins to sway to and fro, placing her arms behind her head. _

Alexis: Keep me warm at night…

_ The more sensual Alexis gets, the more aroused Vinny becomes. Alexis turns around, showcasing her backside for him. At this point, everyone around them is like "What the fuck am I looking at?" _

Alexis: And to protect me from harm…

_ Vinny's left arm begins to shake, his breathes becoming heavier as it does. _

Vinny: Oh baby…

_ Alexis poses, arching her back to give her behind peak form. Vinny attempts to touch it, before she spins around, flashing a teasing smirk towards him and brushing back her hair. She gets down to his level. _

Alexis: I think we'd  _ love _ to spend some time together.

_ Alexis sighs. _

Alexis: But if you prefer to stay alive, I won't stop you…

_ Alexis turns around, a disappointed frown on her face. _

Alexis: I'll just accept the fact that I won't be a millionaire in this lifetime.

_ She puts a hand on her hips and begins to saunter away from Vinny. Desperate not to lose her, he reaches his hand out. _

Vinny: WAIT!

_ Alexis blinks, glancing at Vinny who gets inside the ring. _

Vinny: Let's go babe!

_ Alexis smiles joyfully, clasping her hands together. _

Alexis: I knew you'd see things my way!

Vinny: Yeah yeah, that's great. I can't wait for all the lap dances you're gonna do for me!

_ Vinny comes next to Alexis, slapping her waist with his hand. As he does so, she cringes. _

Vinny: Ready?

_ Alexis stares at him and sighs. _

Alexis: I'd love to Vinny, I really do..

_ Alexis frowns. _

Alexis: There's just...one more thing I need to tell you.

_ Vinny's machismo begins to falter. _

Vinny: W-what is it?

_ Alexis motions for him to come closer and moves towards his ear. Once her mouth and his ears are close enough, she whispers. _

Alexis: Sike bitch.

_ And in one fell swoop, Alexis grabs onto the shirt of Vinny and throws him out much to the relief of the commentators. _

Brandon Gaudin: Vinny just got dumped in the most glorious fashion possible!

Charles Davis: That's what you get Vinny! That's what you get for being a sexist pig!

_ Shocked, Vinny lunges toward the ring. Alexis watching on, a smug smirk on her face. _

Alexis: You thought for a second I'd  _ date _ your sorry ass? Ha!

_ Vinny tries to get back in the ring, several referees restraining him...and then, Brian leaps over the top rope and right onto the pile, wailing away on him. _

Brandon Gaudin: Brian! Eliminating himself and now he's going hog wild on Vinny!

Charles Davis: Look at him go Brandon!

_ Referees begin to force Brian off of him, having been battered to oblivion. Alexis watches the event and smiles in satisfaction. _

Brian: YOU DON'T EVER MESS WITH THE PILLMANS!

Brandon Gaudin: And we are down to five!

Charles Davis: Getting down to that nitty-gritty, only one of them can win and at this point, it's whoever blinks first.

_ Alexis turns around and is immediately knocked down by Naia. She stares her down and shakes her head in dissaproval. _

Naia: Not impressed.

_ Naia begins to go after Danielle, the tallest of the five remaining and is about to hit her. But in a twist, she fights back, rocking Naia with several tough punches. _

Brandon Gaudin: And here comes Danielle, a few hits of her own!

_ Astounded by what she's done, she begins to beam and pose for the crowd. _

Charles Davis: And now we're gonna have fun!

_ It doesn't last, Naia catches her right where she wanted her to with a vicious spear. _

Brandon Gaudin: And the spear gets her!

_ Naia picks Danielle up, setting her at the ropes. _

Naia: Au revoir.

_ And Danielle is tossed down to the ground. _

Brandon Gaudin: And that will bring this body count down to four.

_ Naia nods to herself, a job well done in her mind. As she turns around though, she immediately eats a fist from Rick. _

Brandon Gaudin: Superman punch!

_ As Naia goes down to the ring mat, Rick flashes the rock on symbol, trying to rile the crowd up. _

Charles Davis: And I think Rick might be on the brink of a breakthrough.

Brandon Gaudin: He's had several opportunities and yet not one elimination. But that can all be erased if he manages to eliminate the others right here.

_ Rick comes towards Naia, grabbing her by the ponytail and readying himself when Robyn runs towards him with an emphatic neckbreaker. _

Brandon Gaudin: And out of nowhere! Robyn with the neckbreaker!

_ Charles breaks out into uncontrollable laughter, the crowd chanting "This is Awesome" behind him. _

Charles Davis: I tell you Brandon, I don't usually break protocol but this is the most fun I've had covering anything in a long time.

Brandon Gaudin: One big move after another and this crowd is loving it!

_ Completely in the zone, Robyn begins to lay out some trash talk that cannot be heard towards Rick. She begins to pick up her victim, paying no attention to the fact that Naia has risen. She comes toward Robyn, shoving her aside. _

Naia: That won't be necessary, I'll take this man from here.

Robyn: You think you're just going to take my scraps?! I got to him first, dude's mine!

_ Alexis is shown sitting by the upper right ring post, watching the argument ensue. Wanting to get involved, she comes between them both. _

Alexis: Guys. Look. We're only buying him time to get back up. If you want him gone, we have to work together.

_ Alexis stares down the other two combatants, waiting for a response. Despite an initial uneasiness setting it on Robyn and Naia, they begin to glare at Rick. _

Brandon Gaudin: And now Alexis, rallying the troops.

Charles Davis: Three on one? At  _ this _ stage of the match?! It's never a good sign.

_ Using their combined power, the three girls lift Rick up and despite his best attempts to squirm out, he too goes out of the ring. _

Brandon Gaudin: And the numbers game takes out Rick Larson!

Charles Davis: See what I mean? You don't ever want to take a chance with a three on one assault.

_ As the final three watch a disappointed Rick exit the premises, Alexis and Robyn begin to head out…only for her to turn around at the last second, using her muscle to dump Naia out of the ring. _

Brandon Gaudin: Naia eliminated by Robyn!

Charles Davis: Nobody saw it coming!

Brandon Gaudin: And we're down to two!

_ As a stunned Naia is helped towards the backstage area by several refs, the final two participants are shown squaring each other up, the crowd in a frenzy. _

Brandon Gaudin: These two ladies in the ring, giving everything they've got for the right to be named the best. And at this moment, what do you do?

Charles Davis: You have to go on the offensive. You have a 50/50 shot of winning this battle royal and if you strike first, you reap the benefits.

_ The two are shown in the ring, staring each other down. _

Robyn: Gotta say, you're looking pretty badass right about now aren't ya? Well let's see how you down against a rough sonuva bitch like me.

_ Alexis scoffs. _

Alexis: Oh please. You think you can take out an _all-star?_ Bring it on.

_ After the two exchange their ways, they charge towards each other like bulls.. Lefts and rights are handed to both as neither seems to want to give in. _

Brandon Gaudin: Here they go, slugging away!

Charles Davis: One of these two women are about to win a million dollars!

_ The two continue to trade blows, not letting up until Alexis manages to dodge a wild hook from Robyn. Desperate to capitalize, she dazes her with a left hook of her own. _

Brandon Gaudin: Alexis Pillman, looking to win the battle royal and become crowned the best!

Charles Davis: I think she's going for a facebuster, can she connect?

_ Alexis grabs onto Robyn's head and drives it straight to the mat. _

Brandon Gaudin: A facebuster by Alexis! And now it may only be a matter of time.

_ The confidence radiating off of Alexis, she uses this opportunity to strut around the ring. _

Alexis: Yeah, that's right. I'm the all-star around here! Not her, me!

_ As Alexis postures around the ring, she forgets to keep an eye on Robyn. So when she walks towards her, guess what it is she receives? _

Brandon Gaudin: SUPER KICK BY ROBYN NOVELLA!

Charles Davis: That's what happens when you let something simmer for too long, it comes back to haunt you!

_ The crowd in a frenzy, Robyn points towards the outside of the ring and looks towards the audience, trying to gauge what they think should happen. No surprise, they all want her out. _

Brandon Gaudin: Robyn about to change her life forever!

_ Grabbing Alexis by the shirt, Robyn begins to guide her towards the ropes. But just before she can get Alexis out, she begins to show signs of life, holding onto the ropes like a cross. Realizing this, Robyn decides one final big strike is needed to finish her off and steps all the way to the other side of the ring, sprinting towards Alexis and using every ounce of strength to launch them both out of the ring! _

Brandon Gaudin: ALEXIS, ROBYN, BOTH OUT OF THE RING!

Charles Davis: But who got out first?!

_ As the referees conjure over what to do about this situation, a replay is shown regarding the elimination. _

Brandon Gaudin: I don't know about you but...it appears they both exited the ring at the same time!

Charles Davis: Oh my goodness...is this match gonna end in a draw?!

_ As the refs watch the replay, Alexis and Robyn stumble back towards the ring, taking in the standing ovation from the crowd and looking towards the other. _

Alexis: You got heart Robyn. Hell of a fight.

Robyn: Thanks. You played a kickass heel.

_ Alexis nods, awaiting to hear the results when more music begins to play. Everyone glances towards the ramp to discover an eight foot tall creature, with blue feathers and an orange beak walking down to the ring. _

Brandon Gaudin: Folks, that is the commissioner of EWW, Riley D. Bird. He's the head man...or rather, bird running the show.

Charles Davis: It seems to me that he may have discovered something  _ fowl _ about this situation.

_ As Riley enters the ring, all everyone can do is be stunned at what they are seeing. He puts the microphone close to his beak and speaks. _

Riley: First off, I'd like to thank everyone for attending this historic event!

_ The crowd cheers for themselves, a small "We are awesome" chant breaking out. _

Riley: Now I know you all were expecting us to crown a winner...but it appears our two finalists had different plans.

_ A childish smile perks up on Robyn's face, knowing she was a part of history. _

Riley: If you ask me...I was hoping this would happen.

_ Riley comes between both finalists. _

Riley: Ladies and gentlemen, the co-winners of this battle royal, Alexis Pillman and Robyn Novella!

_ Riley raises the hands of the participants, both shocked at the turn of events. He then comes towards the microphone again. _

Riley: Now you may be asking yourselves...what does this mean for the million-dollar cash prize? Well for that answer, I need everyone who participated in the battle royal to come down to this ramp.

_ The other sixteen participants walk out of the backstage area, confused over the situation, looking towards the bluebird for an answer. _

Riley: You see...the truth about this event is that this was set up so we could find our team captains. Captains for a much longer, harder and more grueling battle to win this prize. In a moment, you'll be transported to a new location, The Camp of the Soaring Eagle. This place will serve as your new home for the next several weeks.

_ Riley motions for the sixteen non finalists to join the co-winners in the ring. _

Riley: Above everything else, this battle royal served one purpose. To see if we had found the people most qualified to join us on this quest. And from your reactions, it seems we have. This may have been the battle royal to determine the best, but that was really the beginning. The real journey, the quest for the best has only begun!

_ As the crowd erupts one final time, Robyn and Alexis uneasily glance at each other, both realizing what it is they've gotten themselves into. _

**End of Episode 0**

**Author's Note:**

> The Quest for the Best is dedicated to everyone who believed in me. Especially my mom and dad.


End file.
